I, Quinn Fabray
by tereo335
Summary: Quinn is not happy at Yale. She lost contact to everone but Brittany and Santana. This is her road to happiness
1. Prologue

_You suck. You suck, you suck, you suck. _

Quinn Fabray was staring in the mirror. The reflection smiled back at her. She was beautiful. Gorgeous. No wonder she ruled McKinley, back in her days as HBIC. Everybody looked up to her. She was the leader of The Unholy Trinity, the most elite gang of the high school. She managed to be popular, despite being in glee club.

She knew everybody saw the perfect girl in her, but why couldn't she? Why was she the only person on the planet who felt disgust when she looked at herself? She screwed up everything she ever tried to achieve. She was never a good fit to raise Beth. She trashed her relationship not with the three most popular guys in school. She fails her classes at Yale and only sleeping with her professor could rescue her career.

_You suck, you suck, you suck. _

That was when her phone rang.

"Brittany is calling," the screen showed.

Immediately, a smile popped on her face. If there is one person who can distract her from thinking about herself, it's the bubbly blonde cheerleader who surprisingly got into MIT last month.

"Hey Britt! What's up?", Quinn said exitedly.

"Not much. This college thing is just still really confusing for me. So how's life?"

_Miserable. Awful. Killing me._

"All's good. Just a lot of studying. But I'm doing ok. "

There is no way, Quinn would tell Brittany about her problems. Seeing Brittany sad is something that Quinn could not take. If she had to confide in one of her friends, it would be Santana. She pretty much lost contact with everyone from high school, except for her two best friends. She just felt that keeping them around would drag her down, while she only wanted to let go of her past. Santana was the one she talked to when she had problems, Brittany was the one to cheer her up.

Even her drunken hook-up with Santana didn't harm the trio's friendship. When Brittany heard about it, it made her sad at first but then it made her realize that she never wanted Santana to sleep with anyone but her ever again, so she asked her to be her girlfriend again. While Santana was hesitant at first, she soon figured out that she wanted to spend her life with Brittany and noone but Brittany. Now, Brittana was going stronger than ever before.

"So, Quinnie, I wanted to ask you something."

"Go ahead," Quinn said warmly.

"Are there many flowers at Yale?"

"Not exactly the question i expected, but that is why I love you."

"I love you, too. So?"

"Not exactly on campus. But there is a Botanic garden and a memorial park nearby."

"That sounds amazing. We need to go there, Sanny!"

"Sanny?"

"Yeah, I am sitting right next to her," the voice of the Latin beauty came out of the speaker.

"Nice! But Britt, what do you mean you need to go there?"

"Well," The quirky blonde giggled, " Santana and I are coming to New Haven"

"WHAT?! You have to be kidding me? That is awesome!", I shouted, much to the dismay of my roommate Anna, who was napping on the couch.

"If you don't mind not being the hottest bitch in town for a day, we would stop by tomorrow and spend the day with you. I cant believe we haven't seen your campus yet," Santana said mockingly.

"We'll see who is the hottest bitch, but I would looove to see you."

"So...Deal?"

"Definitely, Deal. It's time to reunite The Unholy Trinity!"


	2. Reunion

Chapter 2: Reunion

Quinn was standing at the train station in a yellow summer dress. She checked her watch. Three minutes until the train should arrive. She was so excited to see her friends again. Taylor Swift's _22_ was blasting through the headphones of her pink iPod.

The train pulled into the station and people started quitting and entering. She didn't see the couple, but suddenly somebody jumped on her back, shouting: "I missed you so much."

Quinn turned around and smiled more real than she actually thought she could. Standing in front of her were Brittany, who smiled just as happily as Quinn and a breathless Santana who tried to catch up with Brittany who decided to run and surprise attack Quinn with a superhug.

Quinn wrapped her arms around both of them: "I am so happy to see you both." The trio was just standing there for a moment, happy to be reunited.

"So I heard this is a butt-kicking Ivy League campus. Is there any chance to find some ice cream around here?", Santana broke the silence.

After getting some ice cream from a truck, the three friends sat on a small wall looking over the campus.

"So any hot guys drooling over your flawlessness, Q?"

"What do you think, S? There is no guy on campus that has not fallen for me," Quinn said.

It wasn't hard for her to get straight back into HBIC mode. All it took for that was having her former clique around her. She missed hanging out with them, talking about other people, gossiping. Being around them, turned her back into the girl who walked the halls of McKinley.

"Do you ever wish we would have never graduated? Like always repeating senior year? Ruling the school, being in glee club, goofing around with Sam, laughing at Rachel, listening to Mr Shue, waiting for the theme of the week to be announced, falling in and out of love. Just going to the same place everyday?" Quinn asked them dreamily.

"I repeated Senior year once and all it got me was Bram. I loved being at McKinley, but i am happy to finally have moved on."

Bram. Quinn totally forgot Brittany had dated Sam too. Wait didn't Santana-

Quinn laughed out loud.

"What's up with you, Q?"

"I just realized that all three of us dated Sam. That guy was so lucky. He is the only one who can say he had a relationship with the three goddesses of beauty."

"Well, I was only his rebound from you,"Santana admitted.

"And I never loved him. It was always Sntana. He was more like a best friend, not a boyfriend," Brittany said, smiling at her girlfriend.

"He seemed the happiest when he was with you, Q. Not Brittany, not Mercedes, not me. I always wondered why you two never got back together."

_Sam. We dated in my junior year. That was two years ago. Then he dated Mercedes and I kissed Puck. I was happy with sam, probably happier than with Puck and definitely happier than with Finn or Joe. I definitely had feelings for him too. Maybe I should call him._

_No! Quinn, you have grown up. He is still in high school. You are not going back to Lima. __You will stay here and deal with that._

In that moment, my history professor walked by us. He winked at me, licking his lips.

"WHAT THE HELL?", Santana shouted, "is that that damn Professor, who you were hooking up with? Q, you stopped doing that right?"

Quinn looked away shily. She never told Santana that their relationship never stopped. Oh god, this would be an awkward talk to have.


	3. Confession

Chapter 3: Confession

Santana stared at Quinn furiously, knowing she kept a secret from her.

"Q, you did stop sleeping with that professor right? You told me you were disgusted and wanted it to end."

"Santana, I..", Quinn started.

"What are you talking about? Quinn would never sleep with someone like that. He is old and his beard looks like a fish. Not her level," Brittany interrupted.

Quinn smiled at her, but the smile faded away when she realized that both of the girls were still waiting for an answer.

"I did want to end that relationship, when I figured out that he would never divorce his wife and only used me for his pleasure."

Santana threw Quinn a told-you-so-glance.

"I told him I would stop sleeping with him, if he did not show me that he loves me or at least cared about me."

Brittany gasped: "So you did sleep with him?"

Quinn looked at the disappointed expression on the blonde's face and looked at the ground.

"Yes, I did. He always seemed so sophisticated and wise and I felt like we had a real connection. That was until I found out I was not the only student he had an affair with."

"So then why didn't you stop seeing him right there and then?", asked Santana.

"I did try, but we had exams and I completely failed history. I didn't know what to do, went to his house and asked him if there was any possibility to make up for that exam. He told me he wouldn't let me fail the class if I kept sleeping with him. So I did. I can't fail that class. I need it for my scholar ship."

Her voice broke and a tear rolled down her face.

Brittany jumped from the wall and hugged her tightly. There are hugs and there are Brittany hugs. Hugs can be awkward or tensed. They can be too short or too long. Brittany hugs however were the truest forms of hugs. They were full of love and warmth. They make you feel welcome and happy. If your head leans on Brittany's shoulder, you cannot be sad and immediately stop crying. Her hugs were one reason why Quinn was so grateful for her friendship.

"Q, I didn't know," Santana said. "I didn't know you felt that bad and were so miserable."

"It's ok. It's nothing. It's just that I haven't told anyone. Sorry for breaking down."

"Cut the crap, Fabray. I know how to make you feel better," Santana said with a wink.

Quinn was shocked: " Santana, I thought I made it clear that that was a one-time experience."

"I would rather call it a three-time thingy," Santana said making Quinn blush, "but that is not what I was talking about. I meant a.."

"I swear, if you say hair cut."

"No, we all know how that went last time. I don't want you to wake up with another tattoo. I was actually talking of you getting out of here."

"Santana, I can't just quit Yale."

"Of course not, but you could just ditch it for a week and come to Lima with us. I don't have to work for the next week and Britt doesn't have any classes. What do you think? Let's return to McKinley. We should totally show New Directions how to do a real performance again."

Brittany and Santana linked hands and smiled at Quinn eagerly.

_Do I really want to go back there? Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Finn, Puck and Sam are in Lima. I could see them again. And maybe it would show me the old Quinn again. The happy Quinn. The times we ruled these hallways. The best time of my life. I do want to return._

"So?", Brittany asked.

"The Unholy Trinity should return to its kingdom," Quinn said with a huge grin on her face.


	4. Return

Chapter 4: Return

_Power, _Finn wrote on the blackboard.

"Your vocal performance can be the best that the judges have ever seen, but we will not win Nationals without a powerful performance. Not only in your dancing but in your singing. You need to slay the other teams with your voice. They need to be scared as soon as they hear your voice. Your performance must be intimidating. So this week, try your best to deliver a powerful performance."

Finn looked at Mr Shue, raising his eye brow to ask if he wanted to add anything, but his former teacher and now colleague was content with his lesson.

"So is there anyone, who already feels ready to perform?", the choir director asked.

"Well, if you want a mediocre performance just ask any of your kids, but you know that the only people who could pull of the most powerful of numbers are the three hottest girls who were ever sitting in this room," a raspy voice said behind them.

"Oh my God!", Finn shouted. "Santana, Britt! Quinn! What are you guys doing here?"

Quinn smiled: " Showing you the true meaning of a powerful performance. Hit it, Brad!"

_I'm feeling sexy and free_

_Like glitter's raining on me_

_You like a shot of pure gold_

_I think I'm 'bout to explode_

Quinn led Brittany and Santana in the performance of _Domino_ by Jessie J. The three girls were twirling around the room and soon they were transported back into their high school days, when they ruled the choir room and the school. They completely lost themselves in their energetic performance. They were dancing around happily, cheered on by the New Directions. They finished off their performance in their usual pose: Quinn in the middle, Brittany at her right stroking her arm and Santana at her left, all three of them donning their most perfect HBIC smiles.

This is what Quinn knew how to do. Lead this group and give a powerful performance. Dancing and singing was her way to express her joy. It reminded her of the days, when she was truly happy.

"Wow guys. I completely forgot what you are capable of when performing together. It is so good to see you."

"Thanks, Mr Shue. And congratulations on finally getting married," Quinn said.

Brittany smiled at the New Directions: "Hey guys. We all took a week off and decided to visit Lima and stop by."

They all got up to hug her, Sam first. He then went on to hug Santana who he made up with after realizing that she was better for Brittany than him. He then stared at Quinn. The girl he once loved and never really got over. He smiled at her and waved awkwardly. She smiled back and didn't really know what to say.

"Hey," she started.

"Hey Quinn."

"So, how are Stacy and Stevie?"

"Good. How are you?"

"Good."

"How is life?"

"It's ok. Sorry, I gotta go," Sam said with a hurt expression on his face.

Blaine went up to him.

"What's wrong?", he asked concerned.

"It's Quinn."

"Yeah, but what about her?"

"It's just kinda awkward. Two years ago, we talked all day and were on the phone all night and now, we just small talk and even that seems to be awkward."

"Well maybe you should talk to her."

"I don't really see that happening. She cheated on me. I don't think that I really want to talk with such a person."

"You do realize that you are talking to such a person right now? Remember, I cheated on Kurt and it was the biggest mistake of my life, but we made up again. Maybe you should try that."

"We'll see," Sam said and walked out of the choir room, leaving a puzzled Blaine behind.

The Unholy Trinity sat down with Finn and Will, talking about the old times, Brittany's life at MIT, Quinn's at Yale and Santana's in the NYC apartment with Kurt and Rachel. They had a great time and soon Quinn got a call from her mother who asked if she should pick her up.

Judy and Quinn then had dinner and talked until Quinn excused herself into her room.

She was lying in her bed thinking about what happened with Sam earlier. He stared at her all throughout the performance even though he had dated all three of them. But then she talked to him afterwards, he seemed so cold and she couldn't really think of anything to say. She knew she had broken his heart, but what should she have said? Sorry for two years ago? I never got over you? Cheating on you was an even bigger mistake than sleeping with Puck?

She couldn't sleep. Two years ago, she would just have called Sam and he would be glad to come over and take a walk outside with her, no matter at what time. He would keep talking about some stellar constellations and they would go to that play ground with the swings and just sit down and talk forever. Maybe she should call him after all.

She reached for her phone and dialed his number, which she still knew by heart. She waited desperately, but he didn't answer. She hung up and the phone screen switched back to her contacts. Right over Sam was Rachel, but she wasn't the person who Quinn talked to a lot anymore. Over Rachel, she saw another name. Puck. She wondered if he would come, if she called. Well, a girl can try. She clicked on the green symbol next to his name and called him. A few minutes later, stones were tapping on her window. She looked down and saw Puck smiling at her.

"Will you come down or do I need to carry you, Fabray?"


	5. A Quick Walk

Chapter 5: A Quick Walk

Quinn and Puck were walking next to each other in silence for a while.

"So, why did you call me?", Puck broke the silence.

"Well, why shouldn't I? We're friends, right?"

Puck flinched: "Yeah, I guess, but usually friends talk more often than twice a year. You haven't talked to me since Thanksgiving."

"Sorry for trying to keep up in Yale. You didn't try to contact me either."

"True. But why call me and not Santana or Brittany or...", he stopped in the middle of the sentence.

_Sam. He didn't need to say it. I know he was talking about him. Everybody in Glee club knew about Sam and my nightly adventures when we were still together. _

"I don't know. I didn't feel like talking to them. I felt like talking to you. I was kinda down and you never fail to cheer me up," Quinn explained.

Puck smiled sheepishly: "A compliment from Quinn Fabray? Is it Hanukkah already?"

Quinn boxed his shoulder laughing out loud.

"I missed hearing your laugh."

"I missed your bad flirting attempts," Quinn said mockingly.

"Who says I'm flirting?"

"I don't think you ever not flirt when talking to pretty girls."

"Sorry your Highness," he said laughing, "So where are we going?"

Without thinking, Quinn has gone the same way she always went with Sam. She could already see the swings on the playground.

"You will find out, if you can catch me," Quinn said playfully.

"Wait what?", Puck started, but Quinn was already running towards the swings, "Okay then."

He ran after her and due to years of working out caught up with her easily. He tackled into her softly and they both fell in the sand box. They were lying there laughing joyfully. Quinn rolled on her back and looked at the stars.

"Isn't it a beautiful night? Look how clearly you can see all the stars," she said mesmerized.

"All I see is the beautiful girl right next to me."

"Cheesy much, Puckerman," she giggled.

He lay down next to her. Their faces only a few inches apart. They were staring at each other, getting lost in the other's eyes.

"I need to tell you something," Puck broke the silence.

"Go ahead."

"I was kinda dating Kitty until a few weeks ago."

"Wait what?"

"I went to that Sadie Hawkins thingy at McKinley with my brother and she came up to me and we started talking and hooked up afterwards."

"Puck, she is a sophomore."  
"I know but she kinda reminded me of you."

"What?"

"You know I have a thing for bitchy attitudes."

"Well, thanks a lot."

"I'm kidding. It's just the way she walks and talks. She even kinda looks like you, just not as pretty."

"I am flattered, but also disgusted."

"I only dated her because everything she did and said reminded me of you. I felt like this was my second chance to be with you after I messed up the first one completely. I never saw how much I hurt you until lately. I am sorry, Quinn. Kitty was only a rebound, a girl that I thought being with would remind me of what I had with you, what I lost with you. I am sorry for hurting you and being a complete idiot."

"You are not an idiot, Puck," Quinn whispered softly, "I never knew you felt that way. It's okay. I know you have changed."

"Do you think we could ever be together again?", he asked her.

"Puck, I really like you, but just see what happened to Britt and Santana. They are soul mates and even they couldn't pull off a long distance relationship at first. I need to focus on Yale and I am.."

_Sleeping with my History professor. _

"Not ready to be in a relationship."

"Ok then," he said obviously hurt by her rejection.

"This is not a never, Puck, it's just a not now."

He seemed to think about it for a while, started smiling and kissed her. Quinn was surprised, but didn't pull away. Maybe, a relationship would not be that bad and Puck was a decent guy.

"Quinn, look, I really don't want to rush you into anything, so I think I'll better head home, before I ruin this whole moment."

"It's ok. Santana, Britt and I are having dinner at Breadstix tomorrow with Finn. Do you want to come?"

"Sure. Text me about when and if you need a ride."

"I will," Quinn said smiling.

She strolled home through the empty streets of Lima, sneaked into her house and went to bed. She saw her phone on the night stand.

_Two new text messages_

One from Puck: _Awesome Night, Fabray. Can't wait for tomorrow ;)_

The other one was from Sam: _Sorry, Quinn, I really like you, but I just can't pretend that I am okay around you. You hurt me pretty bad two years ago. Sorry for not talking your call though. Hope you are okay _

That was so typical for Sam. Even if he hated her for breaking his heart two years ago, he still cared for her. Quinn still felt like she needed to talk to him and apologize, but didn't know how.

She texted Puck that she couldn't wait either and Sam that she was indeed okay and for the first time in months, she fell asleep happily.


	6. Rekindling

Chapter 6: Rekindling

Puck's truck pulled in the driveway ten minutes early, making Quinn freak out. She was already wearing her blue dress but she still needed to figure out what shoes to wear and had to do her make-up. He rang the door bell and she opened.  
"I never thought I would see the day that you would be early, Puckerman."

"Well, I just couldn't wait to do this," he said grinning and kissed her.

"Wow, you must be happy to see me."

"I really am," he said, his voice sounding serious suddenly.

Quinn laughed and shook her head in delight. She decided upon a pair of shoes and got her make-up bag. Puck looked at her weirded out.

"You use make-up?"

"Yeah?"

"Why? You of all don't need it."

She smiled at the compliment, but put on some lip gloss nevertheless.

"Okay, I'm ready to go."

She said goodbye to her mom and got into Puck's truck.

"So is anyone besides Finn, Britt and Santana coming?", Quinn asked.

Puck stayed silent for a while and then murmured: "Sam and Blaine thought about coming."

From all the people in the world, Sam was the person Quinn did not expect to want to have dinner with her. Did he change his mind about talking to her?

"Okay then," she said smiling.

They went into Breadstix hand in hand and saw Brittana with linked pinkies, Finn, Blaine and Sam at a table. When Sam saw they were holding hands, he flinched and got up. Quinn quickly let go of Puck's hand. Sam tried to get past her but she followed him.

"Sam, I.."

"You don't have to say anything, Quinn. I told Blaine it was stupid to come here but he convinced me it was the perfect opportunity to talk to you. But I guess there is no need to. Good luck to you and Puck." He stormed out of the door.

Quinn stood there helpless. She looked at Puck who was waving at her to come over. She sat dwon next to him and he put his arm around her shoulder much to Blaine's dismay.

"So Quinn," Finn said, "how is life at an Ivy League University?"

"It's ok. The professors are ok. Drama classes are so much fun. The parties can get quite wild, however. But that doesn't really concern me."

"Why is that, Q? You were always a party girl," Santana asked.

"My roommate, Anna, she is the daughter of the dean, so I really can't go to wild, if I want to get a scholarship. I'm just kinda afraid that she might tell her dad, if I get wasted or do something stupid."

"Wow, what a buzzkill," Santana said annoyed.

"Bees buzz," Brittany interrupted her.

"True, Britt," she smiled at her girlfriend and kissed her.

"She is actually really nice and helpful. We get along quite well and she can be really funny."

"Sure thing. Sounds about as funny as Rachel to me," Santana mocked her.

"Hey!", Finn said, "Leave her alone! She is funny."

"Maybe the lead in Funny Girl, but not a funny girl," Santana said rolling her eyes.

Puck secretly took Quinn's hand under the table. She smiled to Blaine's notice.

"Can we talk?", Blaine asked her.

Quinn was surprised, because they have never really talked outside glee club and were never that close.

"Sure," she said getting up and going outside.

"What's up?"

"It's about Sam. It took me a while to even convince him to come and talk to you. He never really got over you. He still believes that one day, you guys might get together. But then you come in, holding hands with Puck. Do you even care about what Sam feels?"

"Of course I do. We broke up. I didn't know I had to inform him or you whenever I started seeing somebody else. But of course I care about Sam. We are still friends. We just lost touch and never really talked about our break up."

"Maybe you should."

"That was two years ago. I don't think he would like me to bring up these old wounds."

"You actually already did that when you entered the choir room the other day."

"I am sorry about what I did to Sam. I am sorry that I returned to Lima to see my old friends. I am sorry that I might still have feelings for Puck. But you, Blaine Anderson, have no right to talk down to me like that."

"Sorry Quinn! I didn't mean to. It's just that I don't like to see my best friend hurt."

"It's ok, Blaine. I will go back to New Haven tomorrow anyways."

"I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to say that."

"Don't worry. Really. I could have used a friend like you back in high school."

They hugged and went back inside. Brittany told the story of how she got lost on the campus of MIT and everybody laughed.

"Did you tell them?", Finn asked Puck.

"No not yet. Guys, I have an announcement to make."

Quinn stared at him with a questioning look on her face.

"I have enrolled at The University of Lima to become a writer."

They all cheered and were happy for their friend. They then spent the rest of the evening talking about all their lifes and later Puck drove Quinn home, kissed her good night and left.

Quinn lay in bed thinking about Sam, Puck and what she had to do when she returned to Yale the other day until she fell asleep.


End file.
